Famous Last Words

As a creative copy writer, my thoughts always veer towards the opening line – the how you engage, hook, and interest your reader and audience. But recently and for the worst kind of reasons, I’ve started thinking about those last words, their impact, their outpouring of emotions or are they stifled and trapped inside, taken with us and leaving a space of doubt, hope and a helpless void for the one left behind. In whatever form that takes. 

How do we want to end what we say – be it that last sentence in a blog, book, press release, words to our family as we leave in the morning, or those actual very ‘last words.’

A friend of mine is struggling to breathe, cancer is consuming her, and she is giving it her everything to stay here and live. Keeping on talking to our little group of friends in our WhatsApp group. She’s written letters to leave behind and a book of instructions for her funeral. She’s prepared in all the ways she can, apart from the sadness of knowing it is hurtling towards her and what to say, what can you say? But say you must. 

Over the years I have become a firm believer in telling people that you love them, showing them that you care – they are in your thoughts. You don’t always get that other chance to say or show it, when that moment, that breath of tangible air sits between you and the other to speak your truth. And that is how my friend is living, what I hope will be more than her last days, but I’ve told her – in the middle of the night when I know she is awake, IV stuck in her vein; on a card, on a call – I’ve shared how I feel about her. 

When you are writing, recording, filling in those blanks in your email or whatever, think about what you are saying, and not just how it starts, but how it finishes. What will you leave in that space at the end, what do you want to say that counts. 

Then write it down and say it. 

For Jenn.

All our love and all our pain
Will be but a tune
The Sun and the Moon
The wind and the rain
Hand in hand we’ll do and die
Listening to the band that made us cry
We’ll have nothing to lose
We’ll have nothing to gain
Just to stay this real-life situation 
For one last refrain.

Songwriters: Nicky Holland / Roland Orzabal (from Famous Last Words)

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Say it right

Apologies for the lack of posts over the last month or so, I got Covid for the first time. Made it all through lockdown and then boom…Happy New Year. Then right after that kidney stones. Well so far 2024, has been a proper laugh. 

But today, I don’t want to talk about me, I want to talk about communication. Not just those verbal things we utter, but also how we say things, how we express ourselves, how we write, and how do we put those words into non-verbal communication. 

And yes, as always for me there is a song to accompany my thoughts on this;

And by say it all, I’m talking about those times when we assume that the other person knows what we are saying, so we leave out huge chunks. Sometimes this is true – they can read our minds, knowing us all too well – but when it isn’t so, and they really do not know what your all is. You may not get that second chance, to say how you feel, if it’s important enough to you to your brand or whatever, then speak your truth. 

Saying it right is equally as important as the words themselves, do you need to choose a time when it is quiet – just the two of you, or do you need a meeting room and some preparation to ensure everyone engages with you? If you would love that person or people to remember your words, to read what you have said and know it, then preparation can sometimes be as important as grabbing that moment as impulsively as any runaway emotions. But ultimately when Nelly said, ‘say it right’ she was not wrong.

Imagine if a friend comes round to see you, you’ve been really looking forward to catching up, maybe you’ve cooked dinner and tidied the house. But when they turn up, they don’t even greet you or acknowledge you, rather they just blurt out why they have had such a godawful journey and just talk about themselves for the next 20 minutes. Not even a hello how are you. Okay, worst case scenario here, you give them dinner to take out and wave them off on what you will probably now hope will be an equally bad journey back. Or do you explain how you feel – remember, communication is a very big two-way thingmajig?

Conversation, words and visual communication all form the building blocks, the crucial foundations of what we want to say. Leave a bit out and suddenly you have a gap, a chance for missing the point, omitting what matters to you, what might be most important and valuable to the other person. A raised eyebrow or a wry smile can say everything we need to, when that person knows you. That expression can catch them and bring you together in understanding what the other has to say. 

These two photos were taken moments apart, but look at the difference in those two moments and the expressions and the communication that took place when they faced each other and made that moment matter.

Communicating can be as eloquent as letting people know that they look great, that you have made their day or that their shoelaces are undone – are all part and parcel of what makes us human. What makes us want to look and listen and understand. Have you ever had a stranger just tell you, that they love your outfit or that your kindness made them smile and feel seen? Communicating our feelings and our wishes is as much a part of being in the human race as it is important to our minds and our understanding. 

With the advent of social media now totally entrenched into our lives, it can become more complex still – what font are you using, what colours, is your text in Comic Sans, centred and looking like a church hall tea party invite, or were you after something more captivating?  You have a short time frame to grab their attention, but also if you want someone to know that your product is 100% vegan, or that you are only open on Mondays from 2pm – 4pm, then you need to say so. 

And before you hit send, check your punctuation…. 

As usual, I will finish with another eloquent song lyric.

… I’m just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood.

Contact me at: writeupmystreet@btinternet.com 

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Sing it Back

And I think somebody somewhere must be tolling a bell
And the last thing I see is my heart,
Still beating still beating
Still beating still beating
Breaking out of my body, and flying away

Like a bat out of hell

By J. Steinman

Contact me at: writeupmystreet@btinternet.com 

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Heart to Heart

Grays Anatomy

While working for a herbal tea company for about 18 years, I promoted it’s health giving properties – notably for digestive issues and benign skin conditions. I collaborated with dieticians, herbal practitioners, writing and even speaking to nursing staff on continence care. I raised thousands for causes in South Africa, where the tea originated, aligning with key UN Millennium Development Goals around healthcare – in particular, HIV, Malaria and TB. I also volunteered for a year helping a London women’s charity, with their social media on FGM. It was harrowing interviewing and meeting women who had been cut, but each time it just reaffirmed to me that I was using my writing and marketing skills in the right way. 

Eventually the pull was so strong that I made a huge decision to step away from the brand world and retail marketing and step into working for health agencies as an Account Director. It’s been tough during Covid (timing wasn’t my strong suit!) but the ingenuity of the teams that work across medical education, digital platforms, media, new drug launches, patient and practitioner campaigns, is endless and never ceases to amaze me and to feel incredibly proud to be part of changing patient outcomes.  It has without question given me a fundamental sense of purpose, a long day becomes something incredibly worthwhile, an early meeting has focus, all the while working with a team of like-minded people. 

My advice to you is that you should always follow those dreams and passions. Because those goals are what you aspire to be or do, they give you a sense of meaning and purpose.

Your dreams are something that drives you on those long days. By following your dreams, you’ll become a better and happier person all in that one process.

Find what not only makes your heartbeat but what knits your heart and mind together. 

And do it.

Knitted heart by Laura Cameron

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Where do we start?

The beginning is the most important part of the work.” – Plato

I’ve recently had a new start, of sorts that is. My mother’s side of the family are by and large Maltese, with a bit of Italian, Portuguese and we think North African thrown in somewhere back in the ancestral brew.

My mother died several years ago now, and although she was born in Gibraltar she had a strong connection to her parental line and family in a little village called Zejtun. Her father had smuggled himself on board a ship as a young man to Gibraltar, in search of a better or new life. He was sort of adopted by a Maltese family, they took him under their wing as it were, as a fellow Maltese. He fell in love with one of their daughters, my grandmother and the lady who gave me part of my name.

My mothers’ side of the family.
My grandmother, is back row on the right in front of the tree

Family is also important to me, I have three brothers and a long list of nieces, nephews and a godson. But making that link back to Malta is a thread I began a couple of years ago. I’ve spent hours on-line and scouring microfiched documents of time-faded, priests writing in scribbled ledgers, dating back over 100 years. I needed to find and secure three generations of family certificates to begin my part of this story. Over the course of several months I managed to get all the information and documents I needed. There were some sad stories in there; my great, great grandfather Salvatore, died at Gallipoli, before his daughter my great grandmother was born. The ravages of war never getting any easier. But by way of balance, a funnier tale was that my grandfather was a coal heaver, he carried hefty sacks of coal daily onto the steam ships in Gibraltar dockyard. Years later he was permanently bow-legged from the weight and duration of his job. But back to the here and now, when his marriage certificate came back, a hasty admin clerk had clearly misread his employment and he was down as a goal keeper. Which given the state of his legs, never mind the lack of a football ground in Gibraltar in the early 1900’s made this ironically, very funny. He was a particularly colourful character throughout his life and he would have laughed his head off at this typo.

Coal Heavers in the Gibraltar Dockyard
(Gibraltar History Archives)

But onwards to why I am telling you this story, I wanted to make that connection to my roots, our past weaves it’s way through into who we are today. From the stellar Maltese family eyebrows to an arm full of aunts who hugged you and pinched your cheeks and an uncle who had the most amazing handlebar moustache and would drive me around southern Spain in his taxi, singing while we played his Maria Callas cassettes over and over.

Last year I finally gained my Maltese Citizenship, the next step towards my passport was to go and register my birth in Malta. I made a quick trip over last week, to do just that. Sat in the waiting room with my ticker-tape number in the queue and in scenes not un-reminiscent of the Netherworld waiting room in Beetle Juice, I sat and waited with a folder with my apostille certificates.

Beetlejuice Netherworld Waiting Room

I’ve only ever met one other person with the same name as me, and technically he was a Mario Angel, but the lady who saw me at the registration desk was also a Marie Angela. Then she told me, my birth date was the same as her brothers, and we began chatting like old friends. That’s the Maltese for you, we all make each other feel like family.

Haberdashery in Valetta,
my aunts used to spend hours making lace.

So my point is, there is always a day and a time to start over again, in some way or another. Not just to know who you are and where you are from, which is one thing, but to have that certainty that as Plato once said, ‘the beginning is the most important part of the work‘, and I’ve just had a new one.

As they say in Malta, ‘għandi pjaċir’

(nice to meet you)

Contact me at: writeupmystreet@btinternet.com

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